Friday, 4 January 2013

Completed: Kid Icarus: Uprising

... If you had asked me just a few days ago if i would ever beat this game.... i would reply No.... it's unplayable.

But.... i did it.... though sheer force of will i beat this game.... i did it with just the standard level of difficulty but i'm not going to challenge myself further on a game where the controls are doing everything in their power to get you killed.

Some back story i think is in order.

Back when Super smash Bros Brawl was released i immediately latched onto Pit cause i ADORE his design.... he may not be the best or worst character.... i didn't care i'm not a tournament player.... i play those games for fun... so i'm going to pic characters i like.

Fast forward to the release of the 3DS and the announcements of some of the titles.
This one in particular caught my eye cause I really like pit's design AND there seems to be on on rails shooter aspect to the game.... which i tend to like.

so i buy it on launch day (cause i'm across the street from a large video game chain so it was just a matter of swinging by in my free time) and i pop it in and even though i don't tend to play games in 3d i do check out how the 3d looks on them... and this was pretty much one of the best uses of 3d i had seen from the system so far (it was still pretty new at the time of course but still it didn't give me a headache.)

then i play a level and so far so good... i really like how i control the reticule and pits movement independently... even though it's a bit awkward to hold so that i can use the stylus it still felt natural enough...

That is until we got to the land battle segments.
almost every level had some form of land battle.....

and it's broken.... because you control the camera and the Reticule with the stylus.....  so sometimes when you try to aim at something you end up swinging the camera around... and sometimes when you wanna see whats going on you just end up aiming in place....
but hey it's not that there aren't other buttons on the 3ds that you could have used to control the camera like... oh... i dunno... the analogue stick... oh but theres only one analogue stick on the 3ds.... and you need to use pit to move... damn.... ok well in some rpgs you control  the camera with the shoulder buttons.... oh but L attacks? and R centres the camera behind you? (R is impossible to hit cause you are holding onto a stylus so.... yeah.... and you can flip the controls if you are left handed)
well what about the face buttons... oh right you can't hit those CAUSE YOU ARE HOLDING A PEN... right.... i forgot.... they can be used to attack though.... even though you can't really push them.

yes there is an attachment that gives you a second analogue stick... i don't want to have to clip something on to make a game playable... if the game can't be played on the system as is then you have failed at your job....
another fun fact the game came with a stand..... which was useless and more of a hindrance to use then anything else.

so okay the land battle portion has shitty controls... so what... well i wouldn't care so much about broken controls if it weren't for one thing...
There are Three One hit Kill monsters.... to be fair only one truly kills you in one hit.... but my point is there monster that can surprise you cause you can't tell where they are thanks to the piece of shit camera.
Once monster turns you into an eggplant... if he catches you in that state you die, the other is a monster that turns you into fried shrimp then eats you over fried rice.... i died to him once cause i had no idea he was there and it was literally one second i was shrimp and the next i was dead.
the third type i died Twice to... in air battle none the less but it is a monster that actually changes the music... i felt both deaths were cheap and stupid and i just really hate 1 hit KO things... it doesn't make your game harder... it just cheapens it.

But those monsters are only in a handful of areas so i can't really use that as a reason why the game on a whole is broken...
So there's a level about 20 chapters in that has wind blasting trying to push you off the edge.... you fall off and you take a bit of damage... go into crisis mode 3 times and thats it game over.
lucky theres a speed blast after the first blast of wind right?
well... no it's not lucky... trying to control pit, the camera and pits new speed while lining yourself up to run through the wind is not only annoying and hard but if you do fall then you get sent back to the start and there goes your speed boost.... and you never get another one unless you outright die and continue...
it is possible to do the room without a speed boost.... it nearly resulted in me throwing the game out in the snow i did end up outright dying once cause my health was already at the bottom and i fell too many times.... but even with full health i nearly died again.... one time i cleared the room just to have Pit slip off the edge before the door.
oh i was mad... yes the game was frustrating cause i suck at games so this shit already gets me agitated.... but when i finally did do it pits hit detection just decides he's off the ledge even though maybe only a pixel of his toe was there?
it didn't help that the level in question was LONG and REPETITIVE...

i'm getting off topic...

Pit, 25 years after having defeated Medusa is back and trying to help the goddess Palutena bring the light back to the earth now that medusa/hades are back in business.
the story has plenty of twists and turns that allow for some interesting enemy types and locations even though many of the enemies are admitted recolours of previously seen enemies.
still lots of interesting characters and some boss monsters make this for a crazy colourful ride.

The good:
I know... i'm surprised too... there are some good things in the.
Maybe it's just cause i like Anime art but i really like hte art style of this game as a whole... it's clean and crisp and works really well in 3d (for the few times i tried the 3d out)
The music is really pretty, if i could find the Soundtrack to buy i would.... it's that pretty, the orchestrated versions of the 8 bit songs are really well done... i just love it.
The on rails shooter bits are fun.... if the entire game were that this would be a positive review. it's not perfect.... but it's almost like how star fox 64 felt and if starfox controlled the same why it wouldn't be terrible...
wouldn't be great but still... could be worse.
the story is also okay.... silly and pointless yes but it's not bad.

The not so good:
The dialogue is a bit grating... i don't ind the occasional joke that breaks the 4th wall.... in this game EVERY joke is trying to break the 4th wall... it took me completely out of the world... the best jokes are when they reference the original game with 8 bit graphics and all.. those got chuckles.... mentioning that this is like another game isn't funny....

The bad:
Land battles.... i mean theres one chapter where pit goes. "awww no land battle segment? i'll miss it" and my reply was "Ha... i wont...." again... when you look forward to certain parts of you game not happening.... you have done something seriously wrong.
Awkward to hold the stupid 3ds.... i have no idea how anyone could play this with 3d on since you have to be in that sweet spot or the 3d causes pain. again i had to lean my hand on a desk to be able to play this.
even though i knew (cause i checked how much pain i would have to endure to finish the game) I only had 5 chapters left to beat the game... i dreaded needing to play that much... the last level is the best..... but then again the last level is only the shooter segment with some added events for fun times.

But then again if i dreaded playing this so much why did i beat it?
cause even though i knew the game was broken and bad i still WANTED to like it.... it's not all terrible after all... and even though i don't like it... i don't hate it.... it's broken but as long as i play on standard i don't tend to get too angry (i think the highest i went was 6... and i won but i figured i didn't need to go through that.... i didn't care how hard it was when i beat it.... i just wanted to be done)
would i recommend the game? No chance in hell... it's not the worst game i've ever played (not sure if A witch's tale or Hoshigami remix win that title... there is also Arc Rise Phantasia to consider after all) but it's still broken beyond being playable... i only played it cause i bought it and i HATE wasting money... had i known what i was getting into despite the great music and lovely character design i would not have bought this game....
*sighs* i'm glad i finished it but still.... i would have probably been a happier person for not beating it.... who knows....

also this was a bit longer then i expected... sorry

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