i'm just gunna... rant... for a little

cause if i keep my rage in... i may explode... and that would be bad...

So...

Lets talk about free!

so far 4 episodes have aired....

i have no idea why this anime is so popular.
okay i know 'why' the show is popular... but i don't understand.

in 4 episodes we've only had a character who is was too obsessed with swimming, a girl who fights over how to pronounce her name and a guy who sinks no matter how perfect his form is and a rival who is a rival cause of reasons and pointy teeth.
and you know what? those traits do not make a fully developed character.

if i haven't made it abundantly clear i tend to value character above all else... above art and music... characters need to be interesting for me to even remotely give a shit.

BUT NO.

you know what it feels like? it feels like they didn't know how to write interesting characters so they just stuck to their moe girl trops but stuck them in grossly disproportionate male bodies. AND YES i am NEVER going to get over how terribly the anatomy in this show is.

Look... it's really not hard to target a show to girls... we do not need huge amounts of blatant pandering fanservice.
don't believe me?
Look at Kuroko's basketball.
how much intentional fanservice towards women is in it...
whats that?
what?
none?
maybe 5% if you count the yaoi fangirls freaking out over everything cause the cast is mostly male?
thats it?

why is that...
oh cause it's not targeted at us... at all...
yet it's got a huge female fanbase....
now why is that..
hmmm
well my hypothesis is that it's got a good story
with interesting and flawed characters...

what does free have?
boys who have girl names... 
a guy who would swim 24/7 if he could and no flaws other then being monotone all the time.
a shota type boy who bounces around all the time but otherwise has no defining characteristic good or bad.
a gentle giant with green eyes... and otherwise no dicernable characteristics.
a megane (glasses) who's obsessed with formula and statistics but can't figure out that things take more then that... he's also obsessed with beautiful things.
a rival who had pointy teeth and dreams of becoming a olympic swimmer, he really wants to beat mister perfect 24/7 swimmer but when he does he's still upset.....  otherwise no definable characteristics.
a girl who has a boys name and is obsessed with the badly detailed muscles. otherwise no definable characteristic but i have a sinking feeling she's supposed to be the audience avatar.

so free... let me get this straight.
you expect me to care about the trials and tribulations of this club when every single damn character is a mary sue?
all because these poorly drawn men are supposed to be Hot?
no
...
no i wont be pandered to like this

there is one chunk of the episode that i just watched dedicated to being an extremely close up shot of the megane's ass as he clenches it.
and this goes on for at least 2 minutes
for no reason
no plot development
all cause he doesn't like wearing a speedo.
so then we get a "lets go to the mall and try on clothes swimsuits" montage which lasts most of the rest of the episode followed by a meetup with the rival who is all annoyed that his friend who hasn't been training as hard as him isn't as strong as him...
then mister perfect calls him out for being a crybaby and a quitter so that if he does lose he can't do either.
again
how many times do i need to say this
why am i supposed to care.
"because they are hot" is not a good reason.
"because the animation is nice" is a worse and incredibly wrong reason. i've been vocal about how k-on ruined kyo-ani so iwont mention this again other then the animation his behind glitter and glamour to look nice but it's actually pretty lazy... the only thing that is well done is the water.... but the guys and the way they are drawn just seems fluffy and floaty and unrealistic.

if i hate the show... why am i watching?
cause i believe that you can't bitch about things till you have seen them...
that is why i watched all the episodes of the first season of k-on.
that is why i read twilight.
so i could make MY OWN opinion based on what I experienced.
i'm not going to parrot someone elses opinion as my own... i can't bitch about how vapid and pointless this terrible show is unless i watch it and analyze it. i can't say how it could be better if i don't see where it went wrong and most importantly i can't learn from it if i ignore it's existence... you can probably learn more from a terrible book/anime/game/film then you could ever learn from something great...
from somethign terrible you can pinpoint where it goes wrong and avoid doing that at all cost.
so i guess note to self.
DO NOT CREATE SHAMELESS PANDERING FANSERVICE.
it doesn't please anyone
and it doesn't excuse you for having no plot.
if you have fanservice in you plot heavy thing thats fine.... but when you are passing off fanservice as plot you are doing it wrong.

and remember
i'm a girl
this shit is supposed to be aimed at me
i am the target market
and it's just pissing me off.
screw this show.

NOW you may be thinking this is just one opinion
most people for some reason seem to like the show
well i'm not the only one who's pissed off about this episode
read yet another rant.... on a completely different topic then mine.