A moment of Clarity

So today i my plan was to catch up on all the shows that aired yesterday and today....
one of those shows is "The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan"
which i'm gunna either call Yuki-chan or Disappearance AU depending on my mood.

Now i own three volumes of the manga for this Spin off/canon AU... yet i only made it halfway through the first one before i put it down and read something else.
I enjoyed it well enough but something about it made me a little upset.

It's a cute concept... uh... spoilers for Disappearance of haruhi suzumiya...
ok now that that's out of the way.
The concept is cute because it's simply "what if kyon hadn't changed the world back... what if Yuki, Itsuki, Mikuru and haruhi were just normal?"


So i finished watching the show and kind of sat back a moment... the feeling i had was so familiar... "why am i not enjoying this?" i thought... Haruhi's showed up... it's pretty much exactly like the middle of the film.... other then it took longer then 2 days to get everyone in that room... it's just an exploration of a concept so why am i pouting so much?

I looked over to my shelf behind my Huge Cintiq screen.... i have my super duper special edition of season 1 of the show... my 'buy it all at once cause Endless Eight is a whole lot of bullshit' season two and my dvd of the Disappearance film.

This film.... i will use any excuse to watch it despite being over 3 hours long. I adore this movie... If i had to pick my all time favorite movies it may not be number one but it would be pretty damn high (right up there with Princess Bride [which i could probably quote line for line if i tried] and The last unicorn)
The film fills me with joy i have a had time explaining.... when Ready? is playing i can't help but feel a little braver and it has gotten me out of more then one anxiety attacks.

The song in question. (also even though I really like all the music in the movie i bought the OST for it solely for this song)

However Rewatching the movie was a mistake... cause i realized something that i can't believe took me this long.
Yuki-chan isn't about "what if Kyon chose the normal world"
Yuki-chan is about "what if the world was normal"
I think thats whats been rubbing me the wrong way about this AU.
I found it odd that in episode three Haruhi never once finds anything familiar about Kyon.... there is no mention of writing strange stuff on tanabata 3 years prior... instead she was doing it on a smaller scale at christmas.
Perhaps this AU doesn't follow the same rules as the AU in the movie. Maybe he's not john smith... because there was no john smith.
Or perhaps it does and i'm just being far to unfair to a show thats only 3 episodes in.
but still... even if things change... I'm not happy... Kyon even said "you could asking me a million times and my answer wouldn;t change" and i know thats the kyon from the Original universe but if this AU kyon has ALWAYS been AU kyon then the concept cannot be "what if he chooses the normal world"
The reason Original Kyon searches out AU Yuki is cause he knows Original Yuki... in this is seems they just meet and he joins the club and... that means he didn't choose the world... thats just the way it was and it completely takes away 99% of what makes disappearance so good.

I get it... it's a goofy canon AU... but that doesn't mean i can't feel like it's a bit of a ripoff.
Am i pissed because it's been 5 years and no Original line sequels? hell yes... it kills me that i know in my heart we will never get more original line haruhi unless another studio animated it. And if the people over at Kyo ani did actually make another season i would worry about another Endless 8 debacle...
I love this series... and the books get even better after Disappearance... Hell Disappearance is only like the 4th or 5th book out of 10 (well 10.5 but whose counting)

And while the spinoff is a nice guesture... i know it's not what i want... and i will never get what i want so i just have to deal.... but i had to vent...
and i'll continue to watch Yuki-chan.... and i'll hope it gets some of it's personality back... but at least now i know why i can't seem to smile and watch it.

well that and i really don't ship Kyon x Yuki...... Kyon x Haruhi 100%

anyways... thanks for reading (though i'm actually kinda sorry if you read all this... just the ramblings of an upset fangirl i guess)