Things i just dont understand

some of these are personal, some of these are specifically related to being an artist.... but these are just the things that baffle me.

1. Pet names:
I hate pet names like sweety or kiddo... i just find them condescending UNLESS they are from a family member or close friend...
but if you are just some random person online and you call me sweety... thats the fastest way to make me want to slap you across the face.
i don't know why it bugs me so much... mostly because it's coming from people who don't know me personally so should not be using such a personal greeting or maybe cause 95% of the time it comes from people a decade younger then me... yes i know i look young but that doesn't give you the right to call me some pet name.  nickneames are fine but even those i'd rather know you first.

2. Self advertising:
i've touched on this before but it just keeps happening... my most recent case is. "hello Kathleen, i saw you faved some of my art"
first let me clarify what i 'faved'
i'm holding a contest at the moment over on Deviantart... i'll be touching on it later so i'll just say for now that the thing i 'faved' was an entry to the contest so i could have all the pieces in an easy to acess manner so i can easily judge it.
Second she used my actual name not my user name.
this falls under the pet name thing... now i have my name on Deviantart page because as an artist i really do need to brand myself and not a user name. HOWEVER unless i know you i kinda expect to be called Rai cause using my real name is just a little personal for someone who is just using my page to advertise their stuff.... anyways the rest of the comment
If you have time to spare, drop by my gallery, that would be awesome to me : ) Have a nice day! : D.
look... i know i'm not the only person who feels like this but if you have to tell me to go to your gallery after i already faved something.... even if i may have done it of my own free will... you just guarenteed that i will not go look at your art now.
tell me to do something and now i wont do it.... i mean there are exceptions like work but in a setting like this... no you don't get to tell me what to do.
it just comes across as insincere and rude... i may be reading too much into it but seriously you are just using me as advertisment... and i don't appreciate it.

3. Not taking 5 minutes to read rules and guildlines.
we live in an age where we just accept things without really reading the fine print.
i understand... i do....
but i haven't used any fine print.
as i mentioned i'm holding a contest, an extremly open contest.
"design an outfit based on one of the 4 seasons"
easy right? self explanitory even... in a sane would i shouldn't have to say much more then that.
however i know people like knowing rules for contests... so i added.
it can be any style
again... i think pretty self explanitory.
any medium
self explanitory...
Any character, Oc or fanart, male or female, i don't care as long as it meets the challenge.
entries must be made between April 19th 2013 and May 19th 2013 - aka the duration of the contest giving everyone a level playing field.
so essentially draw whatever you want as long as it's new and fits the challenge.
1 entry per season, do not mix seasons
this was just there to give people lots of chances while not screwing up how i'm judging this cause i'm doing each season as a category.

i also added another rule later on but i'll touch on that in my next point.

anywasy the point i'm making is that i tried to make this as open to interpretation as possible.... yet i constantly get asked questions... okay maybe i missed some things... what am i being asked.

"can i do something not anime?"
"how many entries are we allowed?"
"can i have all 4 seasons in one piece?"
"can i submit traditional art or is it digital only?"
"can it be fanart?" 
i man yes they are all fair question but they are ALL answered in the rules which you obviously didn't read.
then i got...
"here's my entry!" so i checked and the submissions were over a year old.
"here's my entry" and i get a traced image of dango's from clannad.
"here's my entry" blatant art theft.
more on these last two in a bit.

but seriously.... i tried to make the instructions as clear as possible and if you can't take the two seconds to read it then why should i, the judge, the person holding the contest, even remotely care about your entry. i mean i'm going to keep my bias out of picking the finalist... i'm going solely on completion of the challenge and creativity... but it's still a good idea to read the rules before asking a question.

i also had some clubs advertise me, people seem to think they are holding the contest despite them saying they are just advertising it and not holding it. and me saying multiple times i'm not doing this as a club this is completely personal... but again... people can't take two seconds to read that.

whatever.

4. Art theft.
why is this still a thing?
why do people think that taking someones art and pasting your name on it is okay?
why do people think that if you just redraw it and change one thing that it's suddenly your idea...
FUN FACT: if you can tineye the image and it comes up with the original... then it's too close.

now i want to be clear, there is a difference between Tracing, copying and referencing.
each arguably have their place.... kinda.

Tracing is the only thing i think isn't helpful at all... some people say they did it starting out and it helped them and thats fine but i find since you are just drawing over the lines you aren't really thinking about the placement of the line.... however as far as studies go i guess you can do it if you want... you just have to understand it isn't your art and you can't claim it as such.

Copying is better then tracing but still only good for studies, you can see how things are placed and learn how to draw things that otherwise may be too difficult to draw from life studies. still you are copying something with an IP attached (read as not free stock images/your own personal images) it's not really your art and you can't claim it as such.

Referencing is the best thing you can do as an artist, this is taking a picture, or multiple images and using them in order to build your original piece, but almost always just helps you figure out shapes and form and how things interact with each other. you can't just innately know how to draw something the first time... you have to either do studies or have a library of images to reference but it shouldn't be able to be connected to a single piece. anyone who says they will never use a reference cause it's cheating is full of shit and will not grow as much as someone who draws from life or looks at things to see how they act in real life.
this may mean having to go out with a camera and building your own personal photo library but honestly it's the best thing you can do.
well aside from travel and Studying... art needs a lot of work and there is never an easy fix.

theft is theft and the fact that people can't wrap their heads around it or do it and try to justify it... no... stealing is stealing... get over yourself.

and my final thing i just don't understand.
5. Dubstep.
seriously... it sounds cool at first and then it goes all wub wub and is just noise.
and then it repeats...
i just... i just
no...
i don't get it
maybe i'm getting old.

alright thats enough complaining... i feel better now

Little seafoam -from start to finish-

so i dunno if it's the weather changing or a cold but i've been in a bit of a slump.
i've done a few commissions which could also be a factor because it's a little tricky moving from the mindset of i have to do this cause i'm being paid even if its something i would normally never do to one of i need to do this cause if i don't i will explode..
either way i just haven't been terribly motivated and i've slid into a bit of a slump.
however i'm a firm believer in the is no excuse not to draw so do something... do anything... so i tend to do pages of one specific thing or studies.
this time i did another page of chibis
i specifically did them based on characters or outfits that had only ever been drawn once (cept estelle who is now part of a series which i will finish... eventually)

unlike the last page of chibis i did i'm not terribly thrileld with any of them but today when i was too busy coughing and sneezing to think of a new idea to draw i decided to use the mermaid Chibi (based on this) as an experiment.

now the original piece was actually an assignment for class.
we had to draw inspiration from one of our classmates pieces.
My friend had this piece and i wanted to emulate the way she produced her art which at the time was to do the line art and colour seperately and them mrge them together in photoshop.
she did it amazingly well, my attempt was not as good as any of her pieces but it was still a lot of fun to try.

the point was to do something new.

so when i did this chibi i knew i needed to again try something new with it.

so i did a one layer paintign with a huge fuzzy brush.

i should clarify that the lines are on another layer....
so... here are the lines

heres the colour

i need a way to define eyelashes in no lines liek this cause i actually love this piece aside from freaky eyes.

anyways finished piece.

so yeah this was a lot of fun, a great little experiment and hopefully you like it

and yes she is loosely based off the part of the little mermaid where the prince doesn't pick her and she starts turning into seafoam... i figured her heart would turn first since it was broken. i think my sick/slumpy mood made me wanna draw something cute but still a little sad.

in happier news wavy hair is pretty fun to do... i'm glad i changed my mind on her hairstyle from sketch to finish

anyways i really hope you like it as it was a lot of fun.... i think i need to go have some nyquil and ger some rest...

Dropped... kinda: This season of Dr. Who

me and Sci-fi don't get along...
however almost all of my friends really like sci-fi.
they ask my if i've watched shows like stargate or if i remember that time in firefly or who my favorite doctor is.
and no.... no i haven't seen stargate, i haven't seen firefly (though i've heard it's amazing) and i don't have a favorite doctor cause i don't watch the show.

HOWEVER, i know there is some sci-fi i do like...
I like Macross despite the space battles.
I like Aaron pogue's ghost targets series even though thats more big brother ish sci-fi then we all love going to space sci-fi.
i'm really enjoying Gargantia which granted was only in space for a bit but it had people being crushed by plant aliens and that didn't bug me.

so lately i've been getting a little braver with my sci-fi experiments.
I sat down with friends and watched a bit of stargate
I saw Gunbuster.... granted that didn't end well...
i watched an entire season of Dr who (pretty much any episode with Amy and Rory in it).
actually looking back on Ecklstin and Tennants seasons i've seen large chunks of those seasons with no issue.

still i've been trying really hard to enjoy some things that normally i would rather avoid.
but Dr who barely dealt with space... yeah it was there but it wasn't like "omg look we are in space and fighting black holes! weee wooo weeee"
it was more of a character study and i enjoyed that.
did i like it as much as my friends? no but it was still fun and i was able to join in the conversation and give my opinion instead of just listening.

Until i started watching this season.

Let me clarify.
I have nothing against Matt Smith, i kind of liek his scatter brained doctor who ends up being saved by those around him figuring things out instead of him.
I Have nothing against Jeena-Louise Coleman who is playing his companion Clara, i think she's a really interesting character with a lot of potential and she has an interesting dynamic with the Doctor...
i just can't stand this season.
i'll go as far as to say i hate it.
but why?

Whenever i talk about things i like i always mention music, character and plot.... even if i only have two of these things done well i tend to like things...
well the music is wonderful as ever.
I like the characters.
the plot is.... well okay i've only seen 3 of the 4 episodes so far (i skipped 2 cause i saw the preview and knew that wasn't going to be a fun time) but anyways the plot is pointless.
the first ep was fun, we get to meet Clara and see how quirky she can be and how interesting her character can become considering how many times she's died already (not that dying stopped anyone else from shwoing up multiple times *cough rory cough* )
again didn't see episode too but i assume stuff happened in space.
episode three shows the end of the world out of the blue which i didn't appreciate cause i can handle shit if i'm warned (read as i can leave the room before things happen if there is warning) and other then showing the doctor is a little heartless cause of the wibbly wobbly timey whimey crap it served no prupose other then "look we got some money so our special effects are better"
Episode 4..... again was stupid and pointless and according to a friend i have who is a fan it kind of messed with some things established in previous seasons about the heart of the tardis and time paradoxes and whatnot and in the end it kind of ret conned itself so all of it was meaningless... it was again just another "look we have money... money money money~" and also the collapsing universe or black hole or whatever in the tardis... i actually yelled at the tv cause it was just out of nowhere and uncalled for. it served no purpose other then giving me a panic attack.

so yeah i'm done with Dr who... i was never a huge fan (although the Van gogh episode was probably one of my favorite episodes of a live action thing ever) but i just hate the fact that i feel like the show could make me feel so sick without any warning cause i have a really stupid fear... however i have asked friends that if there is a good episode with no space shit that scares me to let me know and i would happily watch

though the sense i've been getting from them is they aren't liking this season that much for the same reason i don't like it.
it's pointless and so far is wasting it's potential.
granted it's still got quite a few episodes left so that could change... i wont be the one to see that change happen.
all cause i'm a coward.. .at least when it comes to space...

Completed: The Curse of Credesar Pt 1 by Robert E. Keller (spoilers)

finally........ FINALLY

okay quick note, i only tend to find time to read when i'm on transit simply because i can't do much else other then sketch.
so this book, aside from other books bumping it out of reading position has been unfinished on my kindle for a long time.
well why not just sit down and read it like i did Aaron pogues novel?
cause... it was painful to read this book.
now i read knights eye of divinity before i read this.... the two are separate series that take place in the same world just different times.

now Eye of Divinity had some problems... major problems... there was a lot of instant gratification for plot lines and some choices were doubled back on so fast that i felt like i was getting a case of whiplash.
but the decent plot held it together for me ...
or so i thought.
see... before i read this book i had a string of mediocre to absolutely rage inducingly bad anime and novels... this was a breath of fresh air and i was forgiving it a lot since it put me in a good mood despite the poor writing... the plot was interesting. sometimes i can get past weak writing if he characters are interesting enough.

this book made me wonder if they was the first time he ever tried to pen a novel. according to amazon this book was released a month later.... that doesn't mean it was written later though so... who knows...

Completed: Terms and Conditions May Apply

I enjoy documentaries.
so when a friend of mine asked what documentary i wanted to see today i looked at the list and one really caught my attention.

I'm one of those people who reads the terms and conditions. everytime.
some of the stuff in them is kinda important as an artist because some sites will lay copyright claim to your work and potentially make money of it without your consent. as an artist i kinda need to hold onto my IP and Copyright for dear life cause... it's all i've got.

i was expecting one of two things.

1. i expected it to be a documentary exposing the amount of power the terms and conditions hold over you and how you should just delete all accounts and live in a  cave on mars.

2. just talking about how stupid the terms and conditions can be.

i got a bit of the first.... but overall it was a really quite.... moderate.

The film for the most part talks about how the fact that the data websites like google and facebook can and are held in a 'encrypted' database.... which can easily enough be decrypted and cross searched and linked to you.
pretty much everything you do online/on your phone/around a camera is recorded forever.
so maybe we shouldn't be as open as some people tend to be... talking about how much they hate their boss or how much sex they are having... honestly this isn't something the world needs to know.

it had some examples of how this technology that is used to prevent crime was really just being used to stop protests or even a flash mob... instead of things like terrorist.... now i'm sure those still get caught or flagged... but still it's a bit scary some of the examples of normal people being questioned or held simply for saying a joke or planning a protest.

in the end the message is know what your getting into and understand that it's all public... even stuff you make private even things that are encrypted it's still all out there... so don't be an asshole and keep some shit to yourself if you want to have any remaining privacy left.

the end was one of the more uplifting endings to a documentary i had seen in a while, i wont spoil it but it made someone feel more human then he ever seems any other times we see them.

this doesn't completely villify companies like google or facebook or tumblr... kinda the opposite.
social media is a sort of necessary evil, everyone uses it, just be smart and understand that companies are always watching... always trying to sell things to you... using info they got from other sites.

the screening had the creator of the film, it was good to hear him answer questions i felt bad that some people asked him about why this technology didn't stop the incredibly sad boston bombing, he's just a film maker guys... he can't know why and your just putting him on the spot.

but yeah great documentary, i have a feeling it will eventually be on netflix since the documentary festival was sponsored by them and yeah netflix is a great place for documentaries to end up.
i suggest that if you have a chance see it for yourself and make your own opinion. i didn;t want to spoil too much cause yeah, it's fairly new.

but yeah i enjoyed it... unlike the other thing i finished on the way home........ i'll post that tomorrow though... i wanna end this feeling good.

you can find out more at http://tacma.net/

Dropped: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked.

normally when i do dropped things it's because they are bad
not this case with this game.
this game is really really good.
I'm just an idiot.

See i have played a few SMT games.
I've played all of P3, i still have to beat the answer chapter but i have beaten all of 'the journey'
i have play most of P4, i'm right at the end but i do this terrible thing of getting to the end of games then abandonment them for new releases and eventually going back so as long as my ps2 still works/it hasn't eaten my save i will finish it.
I have P1 and P2 but I'm at the start of both.
and when i get my 3ds i figured it was time to branch away from Persona and move into the other games in the SMT series. in this case Devil survivor.
so what did i do that was so foolish?
I played on normal mode.

see... i played other games on normal... cause even though I'm terrible at games i still want to try and challenge myself.
and now i don't think i can win.

this game is punishing with how difficult it is.
it's a fun challenge, but every few months for over a year now i pop it in... grind a few levels and get my ass handed to me every single time.
and i hate grinding.
i REALLY hate grinding. I feel, and this isn't a fact or anything just my personal opinion, I feel that if I play all the normal fights in the game that should give me at least a fighting chances against the final boss. by no means should it be simple but i should be able to win.
and i just can't
and I've now gained at least 10 levels
 so whats the issue.
I'm stuck on a boss who's name i can't really say cause it's a bit of a spoiler but I'll just say there is a computer security system that needs to be hacked.
you have four party members you can dispatch.... unless I've really screwed up the game and i can actually have more... doubt it.

in this mission there is a character you have to deploy, no probably he's one of my stronger ones.
the other three are the main character and whoever else you want.

now you have to protect an NPC, so one character down, use the other character to hack the spots you told, 2 down... potentially you may have to guard him as well if he's getting attacked from every angle but i just equip him with the ability to heal himself and hope he lasts. still potentially 3 down.
and then you have to fight this giant security system that can attack from a distance with you 1-2 remaining characters.
OH WAIT that is not quite challenging enough.
almost every turn 1-3 monsters spawn and these monsters have lovely traits like... Nul Strike damage, which means you have to use mp, some abilities let you regain mp but other don't and if you run out then you can't heal yourself... and if you can't heal you're probably going to get murdered.
BUT IT GETS BETTER.
one of these monsters that looks like... well... SMT is kinda infamous for what they base their monster drawings on... anyways lets just say it's a little vulgar. but hey they do it to both genders so i guess i can't complain.
anyways these monsters also have the ability to attack from a range, and if you can't you kind just get beat up and it's just.... too many things with too few characters.
it doesn't help that the super computer is lv 70 and I'm only lv 63... and i don't wanna grind anymore... cause grinding isn't fun.

i may try picking a different ending, essentially on the last in game day you get the joy of picking between whichever ending you managed to unlock based on your performance during the other days.

SPOILERS
the major choices i got were simply.
become god and enslave humanity to save it and wipe out the demons.
Become king of the world and fight against god and possibly kill all the humans so demons can roam.
there was something else but those are the two i remember... i didn't like either option.... i just wanted a nice middle ground where neither side one and i think that is an option but i didn't meet the requirements. 
END SPOILERS


so yeah maybe if i pick a different route i wont need to fight that boss.... but i probably will so yeah just rather not.

maybe one day i'll grind another 15 levels and beat the game finally... but right now i just suck too much.

still great game, great story.... play on easy mode.

And a quick edit now that it's morning and i can think and type a little better.
I noticed that their are 'titles' in the game, none of which i ended up unlocking.
and i don't think i ever could *clears throat*
most are preventing certain peoples death... i thought i had everyone survive but clearly no.
register all demons except those that are special... that would take so much time...
100% complete compendium... wow
learn all cracked skills, i liked cracked skills so i may have ended up getting this... but doubtful
finish the game in a certain way..... what... what does that even mean? oh it's just different endings...
finish with no free battles.
um....
is that even possible?
as i mentioned before i've had to grind this entire time by doing free battles just to be strong enough not to die...
finish game with no deaths, seems possibly but tricky... unless they mean no characters or summons dying in battle cause no... that is impossible.
then the last four seem to be defeat special bosses.

Again most of the time when i drop games it's cause i don't like the story.... not the case, i really really like this game... just where i am now i doubt i will ever beat it UNLESS i start over on easy...
and even then i doubt i could win
i need a very easy mode...
oh a quick thing to note, SMT games and Persona games play different, so do not go into SMT expecting it to play like persona, it's turn based and grid based with static art, and it's really really fun.

hm what should i play next, probably dragon quest 5 since my friend my kill me if i have his copy any longer. but i also kinda way play pokemon white 2... even though it's just... missing something..

Ultimate Maodka -From start to finish-

it's been a while since i've done non-chibi fan art.
why is that?
probably becasue it's easier for me to do fan art in my style when it's chibi....

still i Got my Godoka (yes i know it's 'ultimate madoka', Godoka is more fun to say) Figma and i put it in a pose and figured.
"hey, why not draw that."
especially since i can't take any pics of her or asune cause i just don't have anywhere to take them for the moment.

so yeah i draw it and realized one thing really fast.
The anatomy used in PMMM works really well........... but it is so incredibly wrong.
their shoulders.... why are they so small?
why are the cheek bones so low?
why is a dress that is so skin tight you can see the countour of her stomach go to something so flowy?

so after i fixed the smoke pouring out of my ears i did my best to draw her in my style.
this has always been hard for me and is the number 1 reason i don't do fanart much, how do you make a character still look like the character in question but have it be your style.
"well you could just emulate the actual style"
and i did try but... i draw the way i draw cause thats what makes me happy.

oh well so i posted the skecth on tumblr and i knew most of the problems had to do with the fact that i ran out space on the page.

it meant that the arrow was a bit short, the hand was a bit short and the wings didn't have quite enough space.

all things i easily fixed in photoshop.

with this piece i did the background first since i had an idea for that and it wanted her to compliment it. So i opened handy dandy illustrator to make a close (though really not that close) version of the magic circle that you see as the backdrop of her box.
then i brough it over to photoshop and tweaked it and i was actually really happy with how it looked, if nothing else i was please with the BG.

I wanted to finish this yesterday but my arm is still not 100% so i had to stop, so i guess  this is close to halfway done.

then today throughout the day i kept working on it bit by bit since taking breaks helps my arm not be in so much pain later. and now i have a finished godoka piece.

I am really happy with it, especially considering it just started as "i'm gunna draw my figure!"

though i am really sad that i had to put watermarks on it.
you have no idea how much watermarks make me cry, but i've just had too many people sharing my my art and removing the credit cause tumblr still doesn't have a system where the original post cannot be edited.
so yeah... ugly watermarks but i put them over to the side so hopefully it's not too obtrusive.

anyways i really hope you like it, Puella Magi Madoka Magica can be seen for free and legally on Crunchyroll so i suggest you go watch it since it was a nice breath of fresh air to the Magical Girl Genre 

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